Time Travel Exercise
(I have a female partner)
1 – Set aside a minimum of 15 minutes per day to do this exercise. You will need to have the Recalibration Protocol (RP) readily accessible for this exercise.
2 – Begin each practice session by thinking of a specific time in the past when you felt frustrated or upset by something that your partner said or did.
3 – Deliberately recall the moments leading up to the trigger. Put yourself mentally back in the moments just before the upsetting words, gestures or actions happened.
4 – Picture the triggering words, gestures, or actions. Pretend that these things are happening for the first time and you are there experiencing them.
5 – Notice the reactions you were having.
- Try to remember the thoughts that went through your head (for example, “‘She has no right to talk to me like that!”)
- Notice the physical reactions that automatically happened in your body (The goal is to re-experience a measure of the same feelings of frustration or upset that you experienced the first time.)
FROM HERE ON, VISUALIZE YOURSELF CHANGING YOUR REACTIONS)
6 – Picture yourself doing one of the following:
A – Letting your partner know that you need to take a break.
- Then picturing yourself sitting alone back then, reading and following each of the steps of the Recalibration Protocol (Also read the steps right now as you are doing this exercise).
B – Reacting differently in the moment…
- saying things to yourself that will help you feel calmer, more patient, and able to hear your partner out without interrupting or disputing her points.
- saying the kind of things that are suggested in the Recalibration Protocol.
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