Articles By Couples Clinic Relationship Therapists – Books, Journals, and Magazines
For over 35 years, we’ve been dedicated to helping people build better relationships at The Couples Clinic® and Research Institute. Our relationship therapists have developed and written extensively on the Pragmatic/Experiential Method for Improving Relationships, or the “PEX Method” for short. You can read several stories about how the PEX Method helped partners improve their relationships in our professional and magazine articles below.
The Love Breakthrough – Grace and Adam
Originally published in The Oprah Magazine
“Somebody please get me out of here!” Grace had to check to be sure that she hadn’t actually blurted the words out loud. She’d come to this wedding reception as a favor to her husband, Adam, whose friend from high school was getting married. Adam was sitting at the main table, laughing and having a great time while Grace was stuck listening to a plump, middle-aged woman chatter about her poodle. Grace thought to herself, “This is the last place on earth I want to be right now.”
The Emotional Imperative – Susan and James
Originally published in the Psychotherapy Networker
On a humid evening last September, Susan and James burst into our office looking like two high schoolers in the grip of a classroom giggle fit. Usually serious and reserved, James, 36, explained between chuckles that he had been telling Susan a story about his boss’s gaffe at a meeting earlier that day. Still chortling as she landed on our office sofa, 27-year-old Susan ran her fingers through her cropped, blond hair and tried to compose herself, then eyed her gleeful husband and began hooting all over again. I glanced at my wife and co-therapist, Lisa, for a microsecond and gave her a raised-eyebrow version of a high five: This had all the earmarks of an easy session. After a bit more banter, we steered the conversation to the main order of business– the state of their six-year marriage.
Brain to Brain – Loretta and Jack
Originally published in the Psychotherapy Networker
Here we go again, I thought. Loretta and Jack were back in my office, dispirited and fed up. “I don’t think I love him anymore,” Loretta began, and what caught my attention was not what she said but the way she said it. Quietly, flatly, as though she was beyond caring. During our first round of couple’s therapy, one year earlier, 31-year-old Loretta hadn’t said anything quietly. She had been chronically pissed off at Jack and had let him know via frequent, name-calling outbursts. Jack, 33, prided himself on his level-headedness and often responded with patronizing mini-lectures like “Try a little rationality, Loretta,” which, of course, had only fueled her ire.
Altered States – Why Insight Itself Isn’t Enough for Lasting Change
Originally published in the Psychotherapy Networker
In the 15 years that I’ve been following developments in neuroscience, the most compelling clinical lesson I’ve learned is likely to rub you the wrong way. An overwhelming body of research now suggests that we clinicians rely too much on insight and understanding – and too little on repetitive practice – in promoting lasting change.
The Great Deception
Originally published in the Psychotherapy Networker
At the tail end of a sweltering, humid Chicago day in 1993, I took my family to the community pool for a dip. As the children splashed gleefully, I sat nearby reading Robert Ornstein’s new book, The Evolution of Consciousness, unaware that my life was about to change.
Professional Articles Authored by Our Relationship Therapists
In addition to the magazine articles previewed above, our relationship therapists have also published a number of fascinating pieces in publications such as The Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, Family Process, American Journal of Family Therapy, and more.