FAQ

Good question. You’ve got some choices. After a while, everything can start sounding the same. Here’s how our approach is different than many others:

Specialized.

Most therapists who work with couples are generalists.
Couples therapy is just one among many things that they do.
Not us. Healing relationships is what we do. Period. Nothing else. 24/7.

Our methods: Refined, streamlined and time-tested.

We’re not just a clinic. We’re also a research institute. We have devoted our entire professional lives to understanding how to help couples make their relationships better. We know every inch of the terrain and can save you months and even years of pain and frustration by steering you in the right direction.

We’ll pinpoint the changes you need to make and then guide you in each of the steps needed to make the changes happen. Our methods for improving relationships are well-known and widely-used. We’ve opened them up for scrutiny — both by the public and by the profession of couples counseling – and they have withstood the test of time.

We won’t beat around the bush.

Some things work in relationships and some things don’t. It can help to have someone who knows what they’re talking about come right out and tell you what they’re seeing. We are trained to recognize things about relationships that are often difficult to see. We will take a close look at your relationship and describe the pathway that we believe will take you to a better place. Of course, you will need to evaluate our recommendations and make decisions about your relationship that seem right to YOU.

We’ll welcome any questions or hesitations that you may have and respect your decisions. But in the end, our plans usually make sense to couples who work with us, and our step-by-step guidance almost always results in truly enjoyable relationships.

This isn’t just a job for us.

We’re deeply invested in your relationship. We know how bad feeling out of sync with your mate can feel, and we are absolutely committed to helping you get to a better place. We won’t stop until you have the kind of relationship that you’ve always wanted.

We expect you to work hard.

Your relationship is a big deal. Studies confirm that the climate between you and your partner will impact virtually every area of your life – including the emotional health of your children, your physical health, and the degree of success you experience in your career. Being good at anything requires effort, and being a good intimate partner is no different. Of course, the choice is up to you, but we won’t be shy about asking for the level of effort that’s needed for your relationship to thrive.

We’ll provide daily guidance for your relationship.

We believe that forging new relationship habits requires daily practice, not just weekly counseling sessions. At the Couples Clinic, your therapist will function like a personal trainer, designing an individualized skill-building program for you. You’ll have access to our library of audio-recordings that provide step-by-step guidance for all the different types of conflict situations that may arise in your relationship. Plus, we’ll provide you with dozens of articles, worksheets, and exercises that are tailored for your needs.

We’re recognized around the world.

Therapists come from all over the world to the Couples Clinic to learn the methods for transforming relationships that we’ve developed here. Our methods are especially appealing to experienced therapists who have been around long enough to know what hasn’t worked.

Read about our impact on the couples counseling profession here and see what other prominent therapists are saying about our methods here.

Our methods are based on scientific evidence about how relationships work and about how our brains can acquire new habits. While we believe that the habits that build healthy relationships are compatible with most faiths that encourage love, empathy and principled living, we leave it up to you to decide how compatible they are with your particular faith. The best way to investigate might be to read about the experiences of people who we have assisted.

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Probably. We are contracted PPO providers with most of the major insurance companies. Policies vary in their coverage. If you have questions about how to investigate what your insurance will cover, call our office manager Lori at 630-232-7457, extension 115.

Absolutely. From the very beginning, the Couples Clinic has been for all couples. Our therapists are sensitive to the unique challenges that gay and lesbian couples face and have a well-established track record of helping with their relationships.

Yes. In fact, sometimes the best time to work on improving internal habits that foster healthy relationships is when you are not currently in a relationship because, you can be more objective.

No. We find that the best way to help partners improve their relationships is through a combination of individual and couple sessions. Individually, the therapist will help you and your partner focus on the changes that you each need to make. In couple sessions, the therapist will assist you in putting these changes into practice.

Yes. People come alone to therapy for a variety of reasons. You may want help making sense of your current life situation; there may be decisions that you need to make and you want to get an objective outside opinion; you may need help overcoming feelings of anxiety or depression; or you may want to improve your relationship but your partner can’t or won’t come — or you don’t want him or her to come.

You can work on navigating your relationship more skillfully regardless of whether your partner comes with you to therapy or not. Our therapists are expert relationship coaches and often, the process of relationship improvement begins with just one person. Read more in the sections of our website, Couples Therapy for One , and Other Types of Therapy.

Call 630-232-7457, extension 115 and talk to Lori, our office manager. She will give you information about available appointment times, costs, how to use health insurance to cover part of the fees, and what you can expect in the counseling process. She’ll also answer any more specific questions you may have.

Yes. Your therapist will meet with you independently to understand your feelings and help you sort through your options. Read more in the section of our website, Other Types of Therapy

Your therapist will want to meet with you and your partner together for the first hour of counseling. Then, most often your therapist will want to have separate individual meetings of 45 minutes to one hour.

During these initial meetings your therapist will be focusing mostly on gathering information and coming to understand your situation — not giving out advice or suggestions. But after these initial sessions, you can expect your therapist to discuss candidly his or her observations in a straight-forward way, and he or she will suggest a concrete plan for how to make things better. The therapist will welcome your input and together you will decide how to proceed.

The process will vary depending upon the needs or your situation. Couples typically engage in regular counseling sessions for 3-6 months, but some come for just a few sessions while others feel that they continue to benefit from more than 6 months.

If you’re not seeing hopeful signs within three months, the process probably isn’t working, and you should consider other options. The decision on whether to continue or not at any point is entirely yours and your therapist will encourage you to stop whenever you feel ready.

If there is ongoing physical aggression in your relationship, couples counseling is usually not the best choice until internal changes take place in a person that enable the aggressive acts to be controlled. However, sometimes going through the initial assessment sessions will help motivate an aggressive partner to get individual treatment. Couples therapy may also be of limited or no value if one or the other partner is engaged in an ongoing secret affair or is making covert significant financial decisions without the other partner’s knowledge.

Scientific evidence suggests that people function best when they sustain satisfying, committed relationships over time. Correspondingly, we encourage people to make every reasonable effort to repair their relationships before moving on. However, not all relationships can be repaired and sometimes separating is the best choice. While your therapist may encourage you to carefully consider all of the angles, ultimately we believe that each person must make decisions that he or she believes to be best.