Instructions for Handling Daily Frustrations
1-Every time you feel frustrated or upset with your partner:
If you are first one who feels frustrated, before expressing your frustration, take a break and review the Recalibration Protocol. Then initiate discussion with your partner.
(Note: If you feel too upset to focus on implementing the Recalibration Protocol, listen to Recording 2 first, then follow the steps of the Protocol.)
If your partner starts expressing frustration first, ask for a momentary break in the interaction. During the brief break, review the Recalibration Protocol. Then resume the conversation.
2-If the first exchange doesn’t go well, prepare to have a follow-up conversation with your partner about the same issue that sparked the disagreement by doing the following:
- Review the Recalibration Protocol and determine which skills you need to do better in the follow-up conversation.
- Review the instruction sheet titled, Steps for Getting on the Same Page After a Frustrating Exchange.
3-Initiate a follow-up conversation with your partner in which you try to get on the same page with a decision about the present situation or with an agreement about how to handle situations like this in the future.
4-Keep a daily log in which you make an entry for each time you become frustrated or upset with your partner. At the end of each day, make entries into the log as follows:
- Why were you frustrated?
- Did you take a break and go through the 7 steps of the Recalibration Protocol? (Yes/No)
- On the following 1-10 scale, what was your highest level of frustration or upset before reviewing the Recalibration Protocol? (1=Very Low; 10=Very High)
- Using the same 1-10 scale, what was your level of frustration or upset after reviewing the Recalibration Protocol?
- What (if any) difficulties did you have implementing any of the steps of the Recalibration Protocol?