Mental Readiness Exercise

(I have a female partner)

1 – Set aside a minimum of 5 minutes each morning to do this exercise.

2 – Begin each practice session by reminding yourself that today, your partner may say or do something that you might not like or agree with today.

3 – Given what you know about the upcoming day, picture a hypothetical scenario involving a real topic that your partner might get upset with you about or that you might get upset with her about.

4 – Picture the thing(s) that your partner might say or do that would be frustrating or annoying.

5 – Remind yourself….

• • if this happens, although it will be frustrating, she’s not the only one who does frustrating things in your relationship.  You do your share, too.
  • your typical reactions to your partner’s frustrating behavior have been just as dysfunctional as her frustrating behavior
  • if you expect her to change, you can’t continue to react the same old dysfunctional way yourself.
  • if you can react effectively, the odds are good that she won’t act this way as often in the future.
  • if you had been able to consistently react more effectively in the past, chances are that she wouldn’t still be acting this way now.

6 – Think of any additional self-reminders that might work for you.

7 – As you visualize your partner saying annoying or frustrating things, picture yourself letting your partner know that you need to take a break.  Then picture yourself in the hypothetical scenario, going to a place where you can be alone, reminding yourself…

• • • • Rome wasn’t built in a day.
      • I will eventually get the changes I need, but I need to be patient.
      • Right now my top priority is to get to a place inside where I’m able to be calmer.

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