Many clinical approaches assume that revamping outdated beliefs, narratives or behaviors is at the heart of therapeutic change. But why is it often so difficult for clients to revamp? Provocative new neurological research suggests that self-defeating narratives and behaviors may persist because they are woven into the fabric of internal states which are automatically activated in daily living, often without conscious awareness. This workshop will introduce Pragmatic/Experiential Therapy for Couples (PET-C), a step-by-step approach which helps intimate partners learn to identify emotional states which perpetuate outmoded thoughts, attitudes, and interactions, "re-wire" these states for more flexibility, and activate alternate states which support new avenues for thought and action.

The workshop will begin with summary of the ground-breaking, longitudinal studies that have identified specific interpersonal abilities that each of us must have if we want to succeed long-term, intimate relationships.  Each of these interpersonal abilities are state-specific -- that is, they can only happen when we are in a particular mood or state of mind (we all know that "I" statements work only when the person making them has the right attitude).  The problem is that attitudes or moods are often felt to be beyond our conscious control (We don't decide to have a defensive attitude, we simply find ourselves feeling defensive).  In the past two decades, brain researchers have been in hot pursuit of the mechanisms by which the brain makes automatic choices for us.  Evidence suggests that moods or attitudes are often produced by the automatic activation of one or more of the brain's seven executive operating systems -- pre-programmed brain states that powerfully influence our thoughts, feelings and actions in specific, predictable ways.  Executive operating systems can be triggered during the course of daily life without conscious awareness.  New discoveries have been made regarding how these powerful internal states are activated and suppressed, and how they can be re-wired so that new attitudes, beliefs, thoughts and actions are possible at moments when they are needed.   

PET-C integrates this new knowledge about the brain's executive operating systems with new findings about specific interpersonal habits necessary for relationship success. After taking an audiovisual tour through the discoveries about the brain that inform PET-C, workshop participants will learn the fundamental assumptions and methods of PET-C.  Through lecture, skill-building exercises, and videotaped segments spanning the entire course of one couple's therapy, participants will learn how to short-circuit internal states that sabotage each partner's ability to think and act in ways that are necessary for relationship success, and stimulate internal states that naturally lead to intimacy and connection. Then, participants will learn how to help each partner develop the motivation and ability to do this on his or her own.  Participants will develop skills that enable them to maintain a dual focus in therapy:  Increasing the specific interpersonal abilities necessary for relationship success, and influencing the internal states that inhibit or foster these abilities. 

Objectives:

Workshop participants will learn skills that enable them to