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Dr. Atkinson describes the groundbreaking discoveries that researchers have made about the emotional habits that are necessary for relationship success, and the important discoveries from neuroscience that unlock the secrets of how we can develop new relationship habits that last. DISC 1
Dr. Atkinson begins by introducing listeners to the groundbreaking discoveries that researchers have made about the emotional habits that are necessary for relationship success. Step-by-step, Dr. Atkinson describes how people who are good at getting their partners to treat them well go about doing it. The listener is guided through a 12-step sequence of highly effective things that these people do when they feel misunderstood, offended, taken for granted or mistreated. You'll learn that people who get treated well by their partners combine two things: 1) a generous attitude toward their partners, and 2) an absolute requirement that their feelings count as much as their partners'. People who are good at getting their partners to treat them well tend to see the best in their partners, but they're also willing to put their partners in their place when they need to. In this CD, you'll learn the secrets of how people combine a generous attitude with the ability to stand up for themselves without putting their partners down. Click here for a sample audio track from Disc 1 The Tracks of Disc 1
 Why Relationships Succeed or Fail Introduction to the Sequence Step 1:Remember to do something different Step 2: Give the Benefit of the Doubt Step 3: Find the Understandable Part Step 4: What's Driving My Feelings Step 5: Offering Assurances Step 6 Work with Me Intro to the 2nd half of the sequence Step 7: Maintain Your Cool Step 8: Offer and Ask Step 9: Stand Up – Engage Step 10: Reject Your Partner Step 11: Don't Make a Big Deal of It Step 12: Try Again Later Concluding Thoughts on The Sequence
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In Disc 1, listeners learned about a sequence of twelve things that people who know how to get their partners to treat them well, do differently than people who don’t know how. In Disc 2, Dr. Atkinson talks about how to apply these methods in each of the two main types of situations where they’re needed. The first situation is when your partner says or does something you don’t like and you feel upset or dissatisfied with him. The second situation is when the reverse happens. You do something your partner doesn’t like, and he feels upset or dissatisfied with you. People who are effective use the same general methods of reacting in each of these types of situations, but the way they do it varies, depending on whether they’re launching complaints or on the receiving end of complaints.
One of the most important findings made by marriage researchers is that, the vast majority of the time, when partners get upset with each other, neither of them has done anything that is intrinsically wrong. There are many different ways of navigating life that can work in relationships, and people start a downhill slide when they assume that their priorities or preferences are better than their partners'. One of the most important differences between a people who know how to get their partners to treat them well and those who don’t is that those who get treated well are suspicious of their own tendencies to assume that their priorities or opinions are better than their partners. Different people develop radically different, even opposite ways of navigating life, and maintaining emotional stability. What works for one person doesn't necessarily work for another, and the failure to recognize this basic fact fuels many relationship gridlocks. People don't usually consciously choose their style of coping in life. They just discover ways of navigating life that make them feel more stable. When there's a mismatch between the coping styles of each partner in a relationship, situations arise that are ripe for relationship discord. In Disc 2, Dr. Atkinson discusses the differences in coping styles that most often lead to critical judgments and relationship gridlocks between, and he describes how these gridlocks can be avoided. Click here for a sample audio track from Disc 2 The Tracks of Disc 2
 Brief Review of CD 1 Introduction to the Sequence Review Tracks When You Get Upset First When Your Partner Gets Upset First Introduction to Core Differences Independence-First vs. Togetherness-First Invest-in-the-future First vs. Live-for-the-moment First Predictibility-first vs. Spontaneity-first Slow to Upset vs. Readily Upset Problem solving-first vs. Understanding-first Concluding Comments on Core Differences
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