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Disc 2

Disc 2 begins with what we call The Sequence "Fast Tracks."    These recordings provide a quick review of the sequence of thoughts and actions that people who are good at getting partners to treat them well follow in upsetting situations.   The "fast tracks" are an excellent reminder of the most essential elements of The Sequence, and are perfect for daily listening.   When you're first learning The Sequence, repetitive listening is very important, because if you're like most people, each time you listen, you'll be thinking about how to apply these ideas to the most recent upsetting situation that happened between you and your partner.  Each time you listen, you'll think through new applications of the habits that are predictive of relationship success.

One of the most important findings made by marriage researchers is that, the vast majority of the time, when partners get upset with each other, neither of them has done anything that is intrinsically wrong.  There are many different ways of navigating life that can work in relationships, and people start a downhill slide when they assume that their priorities or preferences are better than their partners’.  One of the most important differences between a people who know how to get their partners to treat them well and those who don’t is that those who get treated well are suspicious of their own tendencies to assume that their priorities or opinions are better than their partners.  Different people develop radically different, even opposite ways of navigating life, and maintaining emotional stability.  What works for one person doesn’t necessarily work for another, and the failure to recognize this basic fact fuels many relationship gridlocks.  People don’t usually consciously choose their style of coping in life.  They just discover ways of navigating life that make them feel more stable.   When there’s a mismatch between the coping styles of each partner in a relationship, situations arise that are ripe for relationship discord.  In Disc 2, Dr. Atkinson discusses the differences in coping styles that most often lead to critical judgments and relationship gridlocks between, and he describes how these gridlocks can be avoided.

While, studies show that the vast majority of the time when partners get upset at each other, neither partner has done anything that’s intrinsically harmful to the relationship, people do sometimes engage in actions that are so provocative or extreme that it is very difficult to look it at any other way than, “It’s just plain wrong!”  How do people who succeed in their relationships react when their partners do such things? In the last two tracks of disc 2, Dr. Atkinson describes exactly how people who are destined to be treated well by their partners react in these situations.

The Tracks of Disc 2

Track 1-Introduction to the Sequence Fast Tracks (2-5)

Track 2-First Reactions- When You're Upset With Your Partner

Track 3-First Reactions- When Your Partner is Upset With You

Track 4-After Your First Reactions

Track 5-Standing Up- The Second Half of the Sequence

Track 6-Introduction to Core Differences

Track 7-Independence-first vs. Togetherness-first

Track 8- Invest in the Future First vs. Live for the moment first

Track 9-Predictibility-first vs. Spontaneity-first

Track 10- Slow to Upset vs. Readily Upset

Track 11- Problem solving-first vs. Understanding-first. 

Track 12- Concluding Comments on Core Differences

Track 13- But My Partner is So Extreme!

Track 14-  When My Partner is Clearly Wrong!